Uncertainties
by ms.dee
Summary: When it seems like the two gets a second chance, hard circumstances head their way and uncertainties seems to be the fab in Newport.
1. Stolen

**AN:** Hi there. This is my new story and its going to be different from my other one, "Anonymous" in that its' not a comedy. It's a complete drama. I'm aiming for you to even shed a few tears here and there. Hopefully. Although, I'll try to have some fun stuff here and there just to lighten up the story a little. I'm going to be writing this story along with the other simultaneously so forgive me if it takes awhile to update. I do hope you enjoy it either way. Feel free to give me suggestions and feedbacks are greatly appreciated.

**Disclaimers:** Any characters you recognize, does not belong to me. However, those I happen to create/make-up along the line do indeed belong to moi, so please don't use them unless I say otherwise. Thanks.

Uncertainties  
**Rated: **R (for language, violence and adult contents)  
**Genre:** Drama/Romance  
**Summary:**  
It's been years since Alex and Marissa broke up. Now both graduates and moving on with their lives, they can't help but wonder what if they both tried to accommodate and made their relationship work. When it seems like the two gets a second chance, hard circumstances head their way and uncertainties seems to be the fab in Newport.

* * *

**Chap.1- Stolen**

_You took the breath right out of me,  
You left a hole where my heart should be…_

It has been four years now since that night of the Harbor bonfire where Alex and Marissa broke up because Alex just couldn't fit in life of the rich; Marissa's life. That night Alex packed and left, trying hard not to think of the tall brunette who has stolen her heart and never gave it back. Alex had graduated high school some years ago and is attending a community college for time being before transfer to a University. Alex had try really hard to move on and forget Marissa and it took her a year to finally take a different turn. That was when she met Haylee Phillips, her girlfriend of 3 years now. Haylee was no Marissa but she was there when Alex needed someone the most.

"Hey babe, you're coming up with me to my parents this weekend right?" the small brunette asked her girlfriend.

"Do I have too?" Alex replied kissing her girlfriend. She didn't want to go not because she didn't want to meet the parents. She has already when they came to LA to visit their daughter who goes to UCLA but she has never gone to them to visit. That's because they live in Newport.

"I know you dread going back to Newport…" Haylee said softly, knowing exactly why Alex didn't want to go back, "but I promise my parents I'd visit this summer and I would love to have you there with me." She continues as she gave Alex another kiss.

"Fine." Alex gave in to her girlfriend's good ways.

"Thanks." Haylee replied excitedly as she got up from bed and got ready, "Oh make sure to pack something pink." She said walking into the bath in the apartment the two shares.

"Pink?" Alex questioned herself before she too got up and ready herself for the day.

Back in Newport, Marissa was having lunch with Summer and Anna who came back for the summer. Ever since the break up with Alex, Marissa ran back to Ryan just like everyone guessed. However, she no longer love him the way she did or the way she started to love someone else. Someone who left her four years ago but still continues occupy her mind.

"Coop! You're daydreaming again." Summer shouted snapping Marissa out of her thoughts.

"Are you thinking of Ryan again?" Anna teased and Marissa just gave her a fake smile.

"Seriously Coop, I don't know why you're still with Ryan. I mean, you guys don't even act like a couple. Everyone's talking." Summer told her as if she should know what people are talking about.

"I don't know either…" Marissa breathed out. "Whatever I felt for him…its just not there anymore." She told him.

"Are you planning on breaking it off, like for good this time?" Summer questioned.

"Maybe. I don't know. I guess I should." Marissa said.

"Well, okay. If you break up with him before this weekend, we can all go to the Phillips' Pink Event. It can be like a girl's only night. No boys."

"Yeah, great idea except last time we did that, things became a complete disaster." Marissa reminded her little friend. Thinking back to that day, it was when she first found out that Alex was into girls and the first time she felt something for a girl. The thought of Alex caused her to frown as it still hurts to think of her.

"Hey, you okay?" Anna asked, sounding worried.

"Oh, yeah. Just not feeling well." Marissa replied, "I think I'm gonna get going." She said as she stood up and left. The other two waved their goodbyes before falling back into another conversation.

"Do you think she'll break up with Ryan?" Anna said looking at Summer.

"Oh, I know." Summer replied. Summer knew exactly whom Marissa was thinking of before she left. At first everyone thought it was phase she was going through to piss off her mom but Summer knew it wasn't after a few chat about the relationship with Marissa. She was hoping that her best was able to move on from it but it was obvious she hasn't. Alex was still on her mind.

Marissa was driving home as she thought about what Summer said about Ryan and her. She wanted to break things off but then she was going to lose a safety net. She knows she shouldn't think of Ryan that way because he does love her but she just can't love him back the way he wants her to, no matter how hard she tries. Her heart was gone. Deciding that for once she should do the right thing, she dials Ryan.

"Hey Rissa, what's up?" Ryan said from the other side.

"Can we talk?" Marissa asked him.

"Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?" Ryan asked worried.

"Yeah, I just have to tell you something. My house in ten?" she suggested. He agreed and they hung up. About ten minutes later, Marissa heard Ryan coming up her stairs to her room.

"Hey." Ryan greeted as he went over to give her a warm hug.

"Hey." She replied.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, taking a seat on chair across from her bed where she was sitting.

"About us." Marissa started and already she could see the look on his face. She has seen it many times before. "I don't think were working." Marissa told him.

"As much as I like to disagree Marissa but we're not." He told her to her surprise. "I love you Rissa but I know, for awhile now that it's just me in this relationship." He proclaims.

"I'm sorry…" Marissa uttered, tears forming in her eyes. "I tired…I really did, it's just-it's just…" she wanted say but the words doesn't come out right.

"Alex. Its just Alex." Ryan helped her. The sound of Alex's name causes her to flinch as the tears have now fallen freely down her rosy cheeks. Ryan came went over to give her a hug, "We can now try this friend thing we suck at…" he said causing her to laugh a little at the comment.

"Sounds good." After that, the two decided to go get ice cream to celebrate their newfound friendship.

The weekend came faster then imaged, and the excitement for the Pink Event thrown by the new members of Newport, the Phillips were the most anticipated. Marissa had told Summer of her breakup with Ryan and agreed to do the whole girl's night out thing once more, hoping to free her mind for at least one night.

Alex on the other hand was in the car with Haylee, on their way to Newport. Alex had found out about the Pink Event half way through the trip and couldn't help but fall for her girlfriend's pleasing look. She agreed to go to this party with Haylee if they leave Newport sooner then planned and Haylee had no choice but to agree. Alex looked at the cheerful face of her girlfriend, as she was excited to see her family, which caused Alex to smile. Alex hoped this thing could help her enjoy her time with Haylee more and forget about Marissa.

If only the two knew…


	2. A Little Longer

**Chap.2- A Little Longer**

_I'm not getting over you I'm trying to.  
I wish it didn't hurt like this  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I can't believe it still hurts like this._

It was finally the night of the Pink Event. Alex and Haylee had arrived hours earlier and gotten settled in before getting themselves ready for the night. Haylee had on a hot pink strapless dress that ended at her knees while Alex was sporting dark gray dress pants and a pale pink button up that was tucked in. The two made their way down stairs to greet some of the guests that have already arrived.

"Luckily, I'm not the only one who doesn't know anyone here." Alex whispered softly.

"So let's mingle…" Haylee replied pulling Alex along.

At the Cooper's resident, Marissa was getting ready while waiting for Summer to come so they can all go together in her car. She planned on wearing a white and pink halter-top dress that shows off her long tanned legs. As she was putting on some make-up, she heard Summer and Anna arriving.

"Coop! You ready yet?" Summer asked as she made her way into Marissa's room.

"Almost." Marissa replied, continuing what she was doing.

"Marissa, love that dress" Anna complimented as she too waited for Marissa.

"Thanks." She replied, "Okay, I'm good. Let's go." She announced as the three ladies sent out for their night of no boys and no problems, just friends enjoying a good time together.

Back at the Phillips', Alex and Haylee had gotten to know some very interesting people and made some new friends. Alex never really been to an event like this before but Haylee helped her eased up and not feel out of place.

"Hey you…" Haylee whispered to her girlfriend, leaning in so she can hear her over the loud noises. "I heard there's an after party for the youngsters. You down?"

"Are you going to accompany me?" Alex asked with a smile as she gave her girlfriend a quick kiss. Unknown to what's happening around them, Alex and Haylee wasn't able to see which guests had arrived and saw their little display of affections.

"Marissa?" Summer said as she ran into Marissa who stopped abruptly. Marissa was looking at something or as Summer found out, someone. Marissa turned quickly to leave but bumped into a few people causing a scene. At this, Alex and Haylee pulled their attention on what had happened and whom Alex saw caused her heart to shudder and her mind to go num.

"Marissa…" Alex let out so softly it was barely heard. Then Marissa happened to look up and for the first time in years, their eyes connected and it felt as if no time has pass them at all. However, Marissa turned on her heels and rushed out the doors.

"Go…" Alex heard Haylee whispered, "Go talk to her." Haylee smiled knowing that her girlfriend needed this.

"I'll be right back." Alex thanked her girlfriend with a kiss and off she went, rushing after her calling, _her heart. _

Alex made it outside and saw the familiar mustang go off in the distance and instantly she knew where that car was headed. Jumping in her jeep, she followed it. Like she thought, she saw the mustang parked on the side of the beach close by to her old apartment. She pulled to the side and got out making her way down to the beach where she spotted someone sitting by the water. She collected herself, getting herself ready to face the one person she tried to erase from her mind for so long. She felt her heart beating faster at the thought of seeing her again but she needed to. No matter how hard she fight it, she needed to see her.

"Hey." She said softly. Marissa who didn't hear anyone coming was startled. Looking up to see who it was, she was even more surprise to see the one person she has been longing to see.

"Hey." She said as she pulled her attention back to the open water.

"This spot taken?" Alex asked as she took a seat next to Marissa being careful of sitting too close.

"When did you come back?" Marissa finally broke the silence.

"This morning. I wasn't planning on coming back…" Alex replied, telling her the truth,  
"But I couldn't stay away." Marissa looked away at this comment, trying to hold in her tears.

"You should of…" Marissa uttered missing the hurt look on Alex's face. Silence fell upon them again as both did not know what to really say.

"Who's she?" Marissa was finally being able to ask this. Alex knew exactly who she meant.

"Haylee." Was all Alex said as she played with the sands.

"I'm happy for you." Marissa said wanting to really break down and cry. Alex didn't know if she should take that as a good or bad thing. 

"I've missed you." Alex spoke honestly. Marissa look up at this and saw the sadness in Alex's eyes.

"Don't Alex…" Marissa uttered softly, not wanting them to do something they might regret.

"Marissa…" Alex placed a hand on Marissa's bare shoulder and the energy from that one touch caused Marissa to shiver. Scared that she wasn't able to hold it in anymore, she stood up and brush the sands off.

"You have Haylee now…don't ruin that." With that she walked away from the one person that made her feel complete, as she let one single tear fall from her eyes, rolling down her rosy cheeks. Hurrying her way into her car, Marissa broke down. She let out all the tears she fought so hard to hold back when at the beach with Alex. Now, she couldn't stop them from flowing down her face as the thought of Alex with someone else, someone who deserves her is like a tear to her heart, no longer able to be mend. Trying to pull herself together, Marissa finally pulled away, leaving Alex sitting alone, wondering what had ever gone wrong.

Hearing the familiar sound of Marissa's car take off, Alex got up and head to her own car. She sat there for a couple minutes thinking of what Marissa said. She has Haylee who was sweet and kind and she shouldn't ruin that, but it's hard not to when the one you truly love is right in front of you. With a deep sigh, Alex headed back to the Phillip's house.

"You okay?" Haylee asked a little concern at the sad look on Alex's face. Not wanting her to worry, Alex try to pull up a smile but failed to keep it.

"Yeah, just a little drawn out." She told her girlfriend.

"Do you want to leave? I'm sure mom and dad would understand." Haylee suggested. Alex nodded as she followed Haylee over to her parents to explain their need to leave the party early. They told them that Alex wasn't feeling too well and need to go rest and the Phillips was more then understanding. Going into the room they both share at the house, Alex went to go change.

"Thanks for being so understanding." Alex said, taking a seat on the edge of their bed.

"Don't worry about it." Haylee said taking a seat next to her girlfriend, "This doesn't mean I won't get jealous though…" she joked trying to lighten the mood. This did caused Alex to smile because no matter what, Haylee can always see the good in a bad situation and that's what Alex liked about her.

"I'm here with you." Alex replied as she pulled Haylee into a hug. Haylee held a sad smile since she knew that no matter what, Alex's heart was not there with her but she wasn't ready to let Alex go yet. If only for a little longer, if it means Alex was there with her, she would hold on. _Just a little longer._


	3. What We Regret

**Chap.3- What We Regret**

Days have passed since the little encounter between Marissa and Alex happened. Alex was avoiding all the places she thought that Marissa would be at. She was over thinking so much that it has been a couple days since she's been out of the house. Alex thought it was okay since they were leaving to go back to LA soon anyways. However, as if fate tempted her, something happened. Haylee's father suffered from a mild heart attack after conflicting himself in a heated arguments among his clients. Haylee had told Alex that she could go back first but Alex wanted to stay to comfort her girlfriend through this time.

For the next couple of days, Haylee and her mother were busy going in and out of the hospital, keeping an eye on Mr. Phillips, which left Alex to be on her own, thinking. Alex started driving around aimlessly, not knowing where, really, she wanted to go. For some odd reason, her senses led her to that one secluded beach with an empty lifeguard tower. A place she knew real well that Marissa goes to, to be alone. As if it was pulling her towards it, she found herself strolling along the empty beach towards the tower in hopes of seeing the brunette. Alex made her way onto the white tower to find it empty. A sign of relief yet sadness washed over her as she took a seat on the wooden floor.

"What are you doing here?" A familiar voice rang causing Alex to snap her heard around. There she was, standing there in jeans with a large hoodie. Alex noticed the puffiness in her eyes meaning she has been crying. _I'm sorry…_Alex apologized. Alex stood up to take a better look at the girl and she couldn't help but think how much she has missed her.

_I shouldn't love you, but I want to  
I just can't turn away  
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move  
I can't look away. _

"Why are you here?" Marissa restated the question finding the tears surfacing again.  
"I was just walking around…" Alex replied softly, "And I ended up here."  
"You shouldn't be here…" Marissa tore her eyes from Alex's, unable to look at her without breaking down.

_It's getting hard to, be around you  
there's so much I can't say  
do you want me to hide the feelings  
and look the other way?_

"I try to stay away Marissa, I tried to move on…" Alex started to confess.  
"And you did." Marissa replied bitterly and turned to walk away.

_This emptiness is killing me, I wonder why I've waited so long  
Looking back I realize it was always there, just never spoken  
I'm waiting here, been waiting here._

"Don't…" Alex couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't control herself any longer. She rushed to grab Marissa and before either of them knew it, their lips met in search of what was lost.

_Just so you know  
this feeling's taking control  
of me and I can't help it._

For a moment, the two kissed like there were no worries in the world. Content in the arms of one another after dreaming of it for so long, Marissa's head crashed back to reality. She roughly pushed Alex away, tears now flowing down her face.

"Marissa…" Alex whispered.

"You can't!" Marissa snapped loudly, "You can't do this to me!" Marissa said, broken as she slides down to the floor, sobbing freely. "You just can't…" she choked out.

"Marissa…" Alex said again not knowing what else to say in this situation. She bent down to calm Marissa but the tall girl tensed at the contact and scooted away.

"Just leave please." She let out softly refusing to look at Alex.

"We should talk…" was all Alex can come up with.

"There's nothing to talk about. Just leave." Marissa replied more firmly this time. Alex was hesitant to move. She couldn't. She wanted to talk this out. Feeling the presence of Alex still beside her, "LEAVE!" shouted which shocked Alex who was taken aback by the tall girl's reaction. Alex had no choice but to leave. She slowly made her way away from the trembling girl, taking one last glance back at her before disappearing.

"Alex…" Marissa cried out as she once again broke down.

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
'Cause I don't know how to make a feelings stop  
Just so you know…_

After her little interaction with Marissa, Alex didn't feel up to anything. She headed for a bar near by in hopes to down her feelings with some vodka. She wanted to forget. She wanted to forget the kiss, the hurt look on Marissa's face, what she had done to Haylee.

"Haylee…" Alex let out as she remembers the girlfriend she forgot she had when she was with Marissa. "What was wrong with me?" she shouted out loud as she downed another shot.

"Why so frustrated baby girl? Want me to release it for you?" A male voiced asked her.

"Fuck off." Alex snapped, not in the mood to talk to anyone.

"Feisty." He continues as she wrapped his arms around Alex.

"You're going to regret that?" Alex turned to look a smug looking dude.

"How s-" but before he was able to finished Alex stood up quickly to kick him where it hurts most and threw in a punch to the face while he was slouching over.

"Don't say I didn't tell you to fuck off." Alex scolded, as she stumbled out of the bar.

Haylee had came home to an empty house thinking Alex probably went out for some fresh air. However, after waiting up for awhile she grew worried and decides to give her girlfriend a call. Alex didn't pick up and she got even more concerned so she head out to look for her. Haylee didn't know where her girlfriend might be. She was driving aimlessly around Newport having no clue where she might find Alex. And so it happens she drove by a bar and spotted Alex's jeep. Quickly pulling into the parking lot she saw no one other then Alex stumbling out of the bar, looking very drunk.

"Alex!" Haylee yelled as she ran over to help her girlfriend.

"Haylee?" Alex tilted her head to get a better look at the girl. "What are you doing here?" she slurred out, taking a hold of Haylee.

"I called you when you didn't come home but you didn't pick up so I got worried." Haylee explains.

"I'm sorry…" Alex let out.

"It's okay. What happened?" Haylee asked as she helped Alex to the car. She knew something was up because Alex never gets drunk unless something bad happened. Alex felt guilty. She was sorry for what she had done behind Haylee but she couldn't tell her yet.

"Nothing." Alex brushed off not ready to face Haylee now, not yet.

"You can tell me Alex, I never see you like this." Haylee pushed, really worried about her girlfriend who seems to be acting strange.

"Let it go Hays, nothing happened." Alex shot back, feeling a bit more stable. She felt guilty and she didn't want to deal with this right now. Pulling herself away from Haylee she walked to her car and got in.

"You can't drive like this." Haylee rushed after her.

"I'm fine." Alex snapped and started her engine. She couldn't be around Haylee right now so she needed to escape. With one look to Haylee with sadness in her eyes, Alex took off; leaving Haylee there all by herself tears forming in here eyes.

"Well, well…" the same male who Alex beat up spoke out of no where, holding on to his face, "the bitch likes girls…" Haylee turned to see the guy approaching her, "So do  
I." He smirked. Haylee felt horrified as the guy came closer and before she knows it, her night just got worst. _Much worst._

Alex drove away for a while and knew Haylee was right; she wasn't able to drive in this condition. She pulled over to the side and rested her head on the steering wheel, thinking of the day's event. So much was going through her head that she couldn't think clearly. She regretted being so harsh on Haylee back at the bar but what she doesn't know is that driving away from Haylee would be the one thing she regret most.


	4. Broken

**A/N:** Hi there. Sorry for the wait. I forgot to mention that I have work during the weekends and isn't able to update since i have no time. But now you know. Anyways, i know i left you hanging last time and I'm sorry. This chapter was hard for me to write cause i had a major writer's block and didn't know how i really wanted it. So, I'm sorry if this chapter is rather uhh bad? I promise to make up for it.**  
**

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**Chap. 4- Broken**

The following morning Alex woke up with a splitting headache. She took a moment to remember what had happened the pervious day and when it all came crashing back, it caused her to develop an even bigger headache.

"Haylee…" she spoke out softly and looked over to the other side of the bed to find it empty. Concerns washed over her as she thought of leaving Haylee at the bar last night, "Haylee!" she said a bit louder.

"You're awake." Haylee came out from the bathroom, wrapped tightly in her bathrobe. Walking over Haylee, Alex gave her a warming hug, her concerns subsiding. Haylee flinched a bit at the contact but returned the gesture nevertheless.

"How long were you in the shower?" Alex asked as she saw how wrinkle her fingers were.

"A while." Haylee replied, pulling her hands away.

"I'm sorry about last night…" Alex started but Haylee interrupted her.

"Don't be." Haylee walked over to get her clothes to change. She walked back into the bathroom and shut the doors. Alex didn't know what was up but she didn't want to get in a fight with Haylee so she decided to let Haylee cool off.

Alex has gotten the silent treatment from Haylee for almost two weeks now. There was the casual hello and how are you but nothing more. Haylee was acting different and Alex could see this. She didn't want to push her girlfriend into saying anything since she didn't want to get into a fight but it has gone on for too long and she wants to know why she's being ignored by her girlfriend.

"Haylee, wait." Alex caught her by the arm as she made her way out the room she had moved into after that night. She quickly pulled away, causing Alex to frown. _She doesn't even want to touch me…_Alex thought sadly. "We need to talk."

"About?" Haylee replies were short.

"Us. This." Alex said, pointing at the two of them, "Why are we acting like strangers?" Alex asked.

"I'm busy." She said walking away.

"No. You're not, so please, can we just talk." Alex begged, not wanting to lose another special person to her. "Why can't you just tell me what's going on?"

"Cause there's nothing going on Alex. Absolutely_ nothing._" Hays said, putting emphasis on nothing and what their relationship had falling to.

"There's obviously something but why can't you just say it!" Alex said, her voice rising.

"Cause you didn't care! You didn't care then and won't care now!" Haylee snapped back angry now that Alex was pushing the topic.

"I do care!" Alex shouted.

"If you did, then you wouldn't have left me that night." Haylee looked straight into  
Alex's eyes as tears started falling down her own.

"Hays, what happened that night?" Alex demanded to know, knowing something was up.

"Doesn't matter anymore!" Haylee replied as her body was fighting to control itself. Alex was growing more and more concern and took a hold of her girlfriend.

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me what happened." Alex tried to keep a hold of Haylee who was trying to break free.

"Let go of me!" Haylee shouted.

"No. I'm not letting go." Alex told her while embracing Haylee, refusing to let her go. At this point, Haylee had broken down and cling tightly to Alex. "Hays, please. Talk to me…" Alex asked softly.

"He raped me…" Haylee let out in between her sobbing. Alex's eyes grew wide and her hold on Haylee tightens as her mind was running overtime. Alex couldn't think she couldn't believe what she just heard. Her body felt num; _it's all my fault…_

"I'm so sorry Hays…I'm so very sorry…" Alex uttered, as she was completely speechless. Tears falling down her own face, "This is all my fault…"

"No, it's mine." Haylee spoke as she pulled away, tears still running down her face,

"it's my fault…it's my fault for loving you." She took another step away from Alex. Alex tried to come closer but that only made Haylee back away even more, trying to keep a distance. "Don't." Haylee put out a hand to stop Alex. Alex now has tears running down her own cheeks as she thinks about all the hurt and pain she caused Haylee and all the girl wanted was for her to love her back.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Alex wanted to know. She wanted to ease the pain her girlfriend was feeling. But she couldn't.

"What difference will it make Alex? It wouldn't change the fact that you left me, the fact that…that I-." Haylee couldn't look at Alex anymore. She didn't want to be pity. She didn't want Alex to love her now because of what happened. She needed to end this. She needed it to be over.

"I can't see you anymore…" Haylee stated, "I don't _want_ to see you anymore." She lied.

"Haylee, don't do this. I want to be there for you. Please don't push me away. Not now." Alex let out.

"Then when Alex? When I forget all this? Seeing you just cause me to remember it all again." At that Alex, flinched, "And I'm not the one pushing you away Alex. We both know you've done that yourself…" Haylee told her, trying to pull herself together.  
"Please Alex. For once, can you do this for me?" Haylee requested. Alex walked up to Haylee and this time Haylee didn't move. Both with tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts, Alex leaned in for a kiss as a single tear fell down her face. It was _goodbye._

_Is this where the interstate ends?  
In coastal towns like this  
Waiting for my world to cave under  
We seem to invent ourselves  
In places left unknown  
If hope could only find me out_

_Is this the end of everything we know?  
This is the end of everything I am._

It's been a week since Haylee broke up with Alex. Alex thought of going back to LA but she couldn't leave Haylee without knowing that she's okay, so she decided to stay for the rest of the summer. With no place to stay, Alex went back to the Bait Shop to see if can get her job back after so long. Luckily the manager there still loves her and therefore she was able to afford a little place around to crash for now. The first night back on the job, Alex ran into some people she seriously couldn't deal with at the moment.

"Alex!" a familiar scrawny looking boy yelled at her in surprise.

"Seth." Alex replied, continuing her work.

"Since when were you back?" He asked curiously. "Are you staying?"

"I have to work." Alex turned to walk the other way and ran right into Marissa.

"_Marissa._" She said in surprised.

"Hello Alex…" She said so softly.

"So Alex, any new guy, ladies…both?" Seth asked, obviously clueless to the situation. Alex looked at Marissa with a flash of sadness in her eyes and rushed off to the office. Instinct caught the best of her, as Marissa found herself chasing after Alex.

"That was just fucking smart Cohen!" Summer shouted as she slapped her boyfriend on the arm.

"What?!" Seth jumped, still confused.

"Alex, stop!" Marissa shouted trying to stop the blonde.

"Oh, now you want to talk?" Alex snapped back, not meaning to sound so harsh as she walked into the office. Marissa tensed at how angry Alex sounded and knew there was something more.

"Alex what's wrong?" Marissa asked.

"You want to know what's wrong?" Alex replied letting the emotions she has kept all inside creep out, "You didn't want me and now Haylee doesn't want me! I'm not wanted! That's what's wrong!" Alex screamed out.

"That's not true!" Marissa found herself speaking louder, "I want you! I've always wanted you but you moved on Alex. You left me!" Marissa shot back loudly.

"Yes, it's all my fault. _My_ fault that you're so heart broken. _My_ fault that Haylee got hurt. _My_ fault my life is so fucked up." Alex didn't fight back. She couldn't with all the guilt and blame she is causing herself. Marissa saw the change in Alex and immediately felt bad for yelling at her.

"I'm sorry…" Alex whisper as she was too drained to say anything else. Marissa let the side of her that loves Alex so much to take over. She slowly walked over to Alex and wrapped her hands around the trembling girl.

"Alex, what happened?" Marissa asked, wondering why it is Alex was so emotional.

"I caused her so much pain." Alex spoke. "And now she doesn't want to ever see me again." Alex explains, giving the situation a double meaning. She couldn't hold herself together anymore and let it all out. All the pain and guilt she has been feeling for the past weeks came rushing out. Not understanding what really happened and how to help, Marissa stood there holding on to Alex as she witness the side of Alex she never really saw. The_broken_ one.

_Is this the end of everything we know?  
This is the end of everything I am.  
_

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**Notes:**  
-You will see Haylee _truly_ break down from what happened.  
-Something will happen between Malex. _(not the fight. Not yet.)_  
-Marissa will finally meet Haylee and will a friendship start there? O  
-Lyrics from the song **Hello Alone** by Anberlin. _  
_


	5. Friends&Lovers

**A/N:** Okay, okay! I'm back. Sorry for the wait. Been busy, but here I am now. First, I'm sorry that what you thought happened to Haylee actually did happened. Haylee is a major part of this fic and you'll see why. She will also be the major reason Malex will end up together for good. So, bare with me and we'll get there. I hope you are still enjoying this. Tell me when you're not! lol Last, thanks so much for reading.

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**Chap. 5- Friends&Lovers**

_You could be happy and I won't know  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go  
And all the things that I wished I had not said  
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head_

_Is it too late to remind you how we were  
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur  
Most of what I remember makes me sure  
I should have stopped you from walking out the door_

It has been a little over a week since the night of Alex's breakdown in front of Marissa. It seems as though everything was falling apart. Everything Alex has built and created over the years to protect herself from all this has been crudely torn down with a simple tap. Although, Marissa and her were now on speaking terms, things between them seemed a bit strained. Alex wanted to be with Marissa since she was no longer committed to anyone but the guilt she feels for Haylee is keeping her from doing anything.

"What's wrong with you?" Marissa was finally fed up with dealing with Alex's attempt to avoid her.

"What do you mean?" Alex said, playing dumb. Marissa rolled her eyes as she took a seat closer to Alex on the couch they were sharing. Alex was working on some of the paper works for the bait shop, while Marissa just hang around, catching up on life.

"Alex…" Marissa placed her fingers on Alex's chin and turned her head to face her own. Alex avoided Marissa's eyes, "Look at me Alex." She demanded. Alex finally pulled her gaze up to meet Marissa's and instantly, waves of different sort emotion washed over her. Marissa can she the mixed feelings in Alex's eyes, "What's going on Alex?" she asked once more.

"I can't." Alex spoke as she got up and moved away from Marissa.

"You can't what?" Marissa questioned, "Want me? Be with me?" she started questioning, "Love me…" this last bit came out as a whisper.

"No…" Alex let out as she tried not to fall apart again. All the emotions that other night came rushing back with twice the power. She had thoughts of Haylee in pain and thoughts of Marissa's misery sketched in her memory and all of it was driving her insane. "No, I do love you…" it was the first time Alex had said these words and it came more natural then she had imagine it. Only for Marissa.

"Then why are you pulling away?" Marissa had now got up herself and made her way over to Alex, taking a hold of Alex's hands. "Away from me?"

"Cause…I-" and any thought of explaining were gone when she felt those familiar sensations of Marissa's kisses. The kiss turned heated when Alex found her senses and deepens the kiss, pulling Marissa closer to her. The two stood there kissing for what seems like hours and when air became an issue, they reluctantly pulled away. Alex's eyes were still closed when they pulled apart. She wanted to take in what just happened and how much she had missed it, missed Marissa.

"I love you too." Marissa let out softly as she saw Alex's eyes snapped opened. "I don't know why I let you walk away from me that night of the bonfire but I realized it was the biggest mistake of my life. I was scared and afraid of what will become of it all. I thought I wasn't ready but that wasn't it. I was read to be with you, I was just scared of falling so fast for you" Marissa started. "And now I don't want to make an even bigger mistake by letting you go, away from me again." Marissa let out. "So please tell me that you want to give us another chance as much as I do. A chance to make things right this time."

"Marissa…" It was all Alex was able to mumble before the love she has for Marissa overpowered all of her senses and emotions. That night, the two restarted the love they thought they had lost as they made love to each other. In those time spent with Marissa, Alex was able to forget the pain and guilt for Haylee she had. It was just her and Marissa.

-----  
It was the night of the Cohen's Black Tie Event, another one of those charity events that goes on for hours on ends. Marissa was forced to attend as her parents were special guests and she had no choice but to be apart of 'the family' at such events. Alex had work therefore wasn't able to attend the event with her but promised to see her after. Following her parents into a nicely decorated house, wearing her strapless black gown, she greeted her friends.

"Hey Summer, Seth, Anna…Ryan." She said as they all return the greeting.

"Why are we dragged to these things anyways? It's not like we can give them any money." Seth pointed up and pretty much everyone just rolled their eyes. "You all know I'm right," he told them, as they all walk out side to the backyard.  
Marissa spotted a familiar face among the young crowd and found herself being pulled towards this person.

"Excuse me guys," She told her friends as she slowly made her way over to Haylee.

"Hi." She said softly as she greeted the sad looking girl. She knew who Haylee was but yet she felt the urge to talk to this girl.

"Hey." Haylee replied when she saw whom it was that was talking to her. She like every other youngster there, was in no mood to be as such events but like Marissa's parents, hers was specially invited.

"Can I sit here?" Marissa asked pointing to the chair next to Haylee.

"I don't see why not." Haylee told her as Marissa took a seat next to the girl.

"Marissa…" Marissa greeted, pulling out her hand.

"I know," Haylee gave her a look. Not a mean one but a one asking why is she dong this, "Haylee."

"I know." Marissa mimic the girl.

"If you know who I am then why are you talking to me?" Haylee questioned, her voice steady and clear.

"Cause I want to get to know you." Marissa told her honestly.

"Why?" Haylee let out a snort as she found the idea absolutely ridiculous.

"Why not?" Marissa asked back. "I know, maybe it's a bit weird cause of Al-"

"I don't care about her." Haylee lied, interrupting.

"You know that's not true." Marissa told her, knowing exactly how it feels trying to hate Alex. It just doesn't work. "But I'm here to be _your_ friend so let's not include her." Marissa said with a smile. Marissa found it extremely odd that she was so keen on being friends with this girl, the girl that had her Alex for so long.

"What makes you think I want to be your friends?" Haylee was trying to hide her pain by being a bitch.

"Cause in a town like this, you need some friends" Marissa told her still holding that genuine smile. "So, what do you say?" Haylee couldn't help but agree that she needed a friend but is being Marissa's friend a good idea? The only thing they would have in common would be Alex but she was wrong. The more they talked, the more she find all the things they held in common and it surprised her what a great person Marissa is. _I can see why Alex loves her,_ she thought sadly to herself. The two never once spoke about Alex and they like to keep it that way.

Alex doesn't know that Marissa had befriended Haylee and Marissa wasn't planning telling her it, for Haylee's sake. Marissa had been spending some time with Haylee, trying to help her through things, like her dad's condition and her mother becoming sick ever so often due to possibility of losing her husband any second. Marissa had no idea that Haylee's problem goes much further then those of her parents.

Stumbling down onto the cold marble bathroom floor, Haylee couldn't hold it in much longer. Pulling her knees as close as she can, she slowly let the tears she's been holding back since that night, finally go. Holding on to herself tightly, she felt every part of her body turn cold as she stared blankly at her hands. She felt like dying, she felt like the world was against her. Yelling to no one in particular, she questioned why this was happening to her and why her. She was no longer crying, she was balling, holding on to what's left of her as she felt her world finally crashing down as she sat there, alone and lost. Now when she seems to need someone the most, no one is around to hold her through the long nights and painful mornings. She now had Marissa to talk to but she couldn't tell Marissa what happened. She didn't want to ruin whatever it is Marissa and Alex had rekindled. As much as it pains her to know, she didn't want to ruin something she knew was _meant to be. _

She didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to forget what has happened but the more she seem to try and forget the more the things surrounding her reminded her of it. She wanted Alex, no, she _needed _Alex but there was no way she as able to go to her. Clutching the peace of plastic that can give you the best or worst news ever, the tears pour faster as she realize what's happening to her, _to her life. _

Trembling, she tried dialing her phone in search for someone. Just someone. Anyone.  
"Marissa…"


	6. With Her, With You

**A/N:** Okay, here is the update. I took a different direction the the originally planned one and i hope it works. I want to say I do feel really bad writing Haylee this way, but she's essential to the plot. I hope you continue to enjoy this fix. Thanks for reading and the lovely reviews! **  
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**Chap. 6- With Her, With You**

"Hey, you want to spend the day at the beach with me?" Alex asked her now girlfriend.

"Uh, I can't…I have plans with Summer." She lied. She actually had plans with Haylee but for some odd reason, she wasn't able to tell Alex that she has become close friends with her ex-girlfriend, her ex-girlfriend who really needs someone who would be there for her. That day when Haylee called Marissa sounding rather scared and drained, Marissa didn't know that her friendship with Haylee was not the only thing she must keep from Alex.

**Flash Back **

_"Marissa…" Haylee had asked Marissa to come over. Once Marissa had finally arrived, she found Haylee crawled up in the corner of the bathroom, holding on tightly to herself._

_"Haylee…what's wrong?" Marissa asked feeling a bit worried. Haylee wasn't able to say anything. She just sat there and shook her head repeatedly as if she was trying to tell Marissa that whatever has happened wasn't suppose to. Walking over to Haylee, Marissa sat down and took the girl into her arms. She didn't know what was wrong and she didn't want to push the subject so she just sat there and lent some comfort. After several minutes of the two rocking back and forth, Haylee pulled pack and showed what she was gripping to Marissa._

_"Oh my god Haylee…" Marissa gasped at what she was shown. She didn't know the deal was and the way Haylee was acting, it wasn't a plan thing. "What, how?" Marissa asked curiously but decided not to push it when Haylee looked away and started to cry. "It's okay…I'm here." Marissa embraced Haylee once more and tried to comfort her as best as she knew how. _

**End Flash Back **

After that day, the day Marissa found out Haylee was pregnant; she spent almost everyday with the girl, trying to help her through this time. Marissa still doesn't know what had happen to Haylee for her to become pregnant, and she never questioned it. She thought that Haylee has more then enough on her mind for her curiosity and didn't push the subject. However, Marissa's first thought was that Haylee probably slept with some guy as a spur of the moment thing after Alex. Oh how very wrong she was.

"What do you plan to do Hays?" Marissa asked as Haylee flinched at the nickname Alex once called her.

"I want to keep the baby." Haylee said hesitantly. She has been thinking about giving up the baby but she just couldn't do it even under such circumstances.

"Are you sure?" Marissa asked, "I mean, what about UCLA?" Marissa wanted to make sure that this is what she really wanted.

"I thought of taking a year off school, and after that, who knows." Haylee replied honestly.

"Okay, then what about your parents?" Marissa kept questioning.

"I'll tell them eventually. Maybe after daddy gets better cause I don't want this to affect his health." Haylee has thought things through and as bead as things are for her right now, she seem to be keeping everything together real well.

"Well, I'm always here to help you." Marissa gave her a smile. "Are you planning on telling Alex?" Marissa asked although Haylee had made her promise not to mention anything to Alex.

"No. She doesn't need to know" Haylee's tone changed at the mention of Alex. Haylee tried not to let the thought of Alex affect her so much but to be honest, she was still in love with the her and sometimes seeing Marissa makes her think of Alex. As grateful as Haylee was to have Marissa as a friend, the thought of Alex now being with Marissa again still makes her heart ache. Marissa noticed the sad expression on Haylee and decided to lighten up the mood.

"Hey, want to go out to the beach? It'll help you relax a bit." Marissa suggested.

"That sounds nice." Haylee replied with a slight smile and then the two were off to relax.

On the other hand, Alex was sitting at home completely bored out of her mind. Normally she would have things to do to keep her mind off all the things that had happened in the short amount of time she has spent in Newport. Now that she was with Marissa again and things were going rather well, she didn't want to go back to LA. Therefore, she had planned to transfer her credits to a community college here in Newport, so she can be closer to Marissa and maybe convince Marissa to attend college with her. After sitting around for some time, Alex decided she needed to get some air.

Driving herself to the secluded area of the beach, her and Marissa like to go to relax, Alex spotted Marissa's car parked sideways. She made her way slowly down the beach in search for her girlfriend and there she was, but she wasn't alone. Alex's slight smile fell when she saw Marissa wrapped her arms over the girl next to her who for sure wasn't Summer because Alex knew. Alex knew exactly who it is. _Haylee._ Walking away as quickly as she could, Alex drove away confused, angry and all the bad emotions wrapped together.

It was now six in the evening when Marissa had arrived at Alex's apartment after dropping Haylee safely at home. She spotted Alex sitting over at the couch sipping a beer.

"Hey babe." Marissa greeted and pecked Alex on the lips. "How was your day?"

"Insightful." Alex replied to which Marissa gave her a weird look. "How about you? Enjoy the view of the ocean with Summer?" Alex questioned putting on a fake smile.

"Yeah…wait how'd you know I was at the beach?" Marissa looked at Alex who refused to look at her. Then it hit her, Alex didn't see her and Summer, she saw her and Haylee.

"What were you doing with Haylee?" Alex asked her voice louder.

"It's not what you're thinking. We're just friends Alex." Marissa knew what Alex was thinking.

"Friends? With Haylee? My ex Haylee?" Alex spat out.

"Just because you two dated doesn't mean I can't be friends with her Alex. Be reasonable." Marissa was too getting frustrated at how Alex is acting. Alex knew what Marissa said was true but a part of her was still protective of Haylee.

"I am being reasonable Marissa. I'm not the one lying and making friends with your ex" Alex snapped.

"This was the reason I didn't tell you! I knew you would be upset!" Marissa was now raising her voice.

"If you told me about it in the first place I would understand." Alex shot back, "You didn't have to lie about who you befriend unless they're more then just friends!" Alex didn't mean to say that but all of her emotions were shooting out and she couldn't control it. Marissa snapped at this and couldn't hold her own anger.

"Are you accusing me of cheating?" Marissa was now standing up, her face burning of anger, "After all we've been through and now you're accusing me of cheating on you with your ex!" Marissa was now shaking from anger.

"I saw you at the beach Marissa! Our beach!" Alex shouted, "The way you held on to her…" Alex whispered as tears form. She knew she was being irrational but the idea of two very important people, one she loves with her whole heart and the other she cares for immensely are going behind her back and lying has snapped something in her.

"She needed a friend Alex!" Marissa shouted at her girlfriend who was being unreasonable. "If only you knew what she's going through, then maybe you'll be there for her too!"

"I know exactly what she's going through!" Alex scolded, flinching at the memory of what happened to Haylee.

"Oh really? Then why aren't you there for her? Or are you pissed she slept with someone else! Do you still love her?" Marissa was too angry to care about what she said.

"What are you talking about! " Alex was beyond pissed now. She couldn't believe Marissa would make such an untrue statement about Haylee. "I only ever loved you and you know that!" both girls at this point had tears rolling down their faces. Tears of anger.

"Then why do you care?" Marissa knew she was being harsh but she couldn't help the anger in her, "Why do you care if she slept with someone and got pregnant!" Marissa announced regretting what she said immediately. Alex was stunned, dazed in the spot she was now processing. _Pregnant?_ Alex couldn't think and all she wanted to do was cry. All the feelings of guilt she tried to hide has came washing through her mind and this time it was there to stay.

Marissa saw the look on her girlfriend's face and knew she had said the wrong thing.  
"Oh god…you didn't know…" Marissa let out as her voice has softened. Walking over to Alex she try to take a hold of Alex but Alex pulled away. "Alex…I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be." Alex said so coldly it scared Marissa, "You're right…I don't care. I don't care that she slept with someone else…" Alex said look straight at Marissa, "But she didn't…" Alex told her. Marissa looked confused but by the way Alex was acting she didn't want to say anything. "She was raped…because of me. I let it happen to her…" Alex finally said it.

"Oh my god…" Marissa let out completely shocked. The thought had never once crossed her mine.

"Therefore I shouldn't care right?" Alex finished in a deep tone as she turned, grabbed her keys and left, leaving a shocked looking Marissa who didn't know what to do. She slumped on the couch and cried. _I was so stupid…_she blamed herself as she cried herself to sleep, wishing Alex would come back so she can apologize. But she didn't.

Alex had so many things running through her head at the moment that she didn't know what else to do. She knew that she had to see Haylee and talk to her. But she really wanted to go back to Marissa and tell her she was sorry but couldn't. The guilt she had for Haylee's problem had taken over her mind and body and all she knew to do was go where she had to be, not where she wanted to be. Walking up to big wooden double doors, Alex hesitantly rang the bell.  
"Haylee…"

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am _

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive_


	7. So Close, Yet So Far

**Chap. 7- So Close, Yet So Far**

_"Haylee..." Alex struggle to get out as she for the first time saw Haylee for the first time since that day and all the guilt came rushing back._

"Alex." Haylee let out softly as she knew. She knew Alex knows everything and she couldn't bare the to look Alex was giving her but before the two can say anything more, Alex collapsed.

"Alex?" Alex heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Where am I?" Alex asked as she looked around and then to Haylee.

"You're in the hospital. You collapsed and was out for a whole day." Haylee told her and then everything that happened came back to Alex. She took a hold of Haylee's hands which shocked Hays.

"Hays. I'm so sorry..." Alex started saying, tears running, "I want to be here for you..." she said and at this moment Marissa walked by the room and say the whole thing. The looked from Alex to the intertwined fingers and with a sad smile, she walked away. Away from Alex.

"No." Haylee took her hands away, something Marissa missed. "You want to be with Marissa, you want to be happy. I want you to be happy..." She said sadly not wanting Alex to be with her out of mere guilt.

"I can't be happy knowing you're not. Knowing the fact that you're unhappiness was caused because of me. I want to be there for you. Be there for the baby. Please, let me." Alex begged, grabbing her hands again forgetting about her one true love.

"What about Marissa Alex? You can't walk away from her again. I can't let you do that." Haylee argued yanking her hands away once more,

"I'll be fine Alex. With or without you." Haylee said and walked away. Away from Alex.

Alex was released from the hospital a day later and she was now opening the doors to her apartment. She remember what happened the last time she was there and she regretted being so cruel to Marissa that night and hoping she can apologize. She saw no sight of Marissa, just a note.

_Alex,_

_When you get this then you probably figured out that I've left. I know you want to be there for Haylee and the baby and with me around you won't be able to do that so I'm going to make this easier for you and leave. I'm leaving Newport so Alex please don't try looking for me. Just remember that I never meant to hurt you by leaving, I just didn't want you to be torn apart with a decision you won't be able to make. Give my best to Haylee and Alex...maybe one day I'll see you again but till then, goodbye._

_Yours for always,_

_Marissa._

_ps. i love you. _

Alex felt tears rushing down her face as she sink to the floor, truly breaking down.

After Alex was able to pull herself together she rushed over to Marissa's house despite Marissa telling Alex not to look for her. She couldn't bare to lose Marissa again. She didn't know what she was thinking, leaving her that night but she regretted now. She finally pulled into the Cooper's resident and rang the bell repeatedly.

"Alex?" Julie Cooper came out.

"Where is she?" Alex questioned.

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell anyone." Julie replied truthfully.

"Don't lie to me Julie! Where is Marissa!" Alex snapped.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Julie shouted back, "I came back to a note. I would also like to know where my daughter is but she's old enough to care for herself." Julie explained.

"No...no..." Alex started whispering as she backed away and ran for her jeep, tears streaming down her cheeks. She started driving everywhere, calling everyone but no one. No one knew where Marissa was or where she could be.

Alex was now standing in front of Haylee's doors, not knowing what to do. She finally rang the bell and came out Haylee.

"Alex?" she said as she witness the state that Alex was in.

"She...she..." Alex was not able to get anything out, "gone...really gone." she muttered.

"What?" Haylee was confused. Why is Alex constantly showing up at her doorsteps in distress.

"Mairssa...she left." Alex was finally to say something, "she left me. I don't even know where she went." She let out.

"Alex..." Haylee's heart broke witnessing Alex like this and she couldn't help but hold Alex in her arms. "I'm so sorry..." Hays said as she too felt tears rolling down her cheeks. There stood two people holding on to one another as to not fall apart. Holding on to what they had left.

Sitting by the window seat, Marissa stared outside, trying desperately to hold back the tears that are inching out. She knew what she was doing is stupid but she couldn't bare seeing Alex like that. She thought the best way was for her to leave so that Alex can lead a easier life. She felt as though with her, there was always a problem. The decision to leave Alex again was a hard one and one that took hours to make but she finally did it. No regrets. She didn't even tell anyone where she was going, all she knew that she needed to leave. Be some place where she can forget Alex or at least for awhile.

"Welcome, thank you for using Southwest Airlines, you're flight to New York, New York will depart shortly," the Stewart announced and Marissa knew it time. Time to leave it all behind. Time to leave thoughts of Alex behind.

"I love you..." Marissa whispered one last time.

_How could I face the faceless days_

_If I should lose you now?_

_We're so close_

_To reaching that famous happy ending_

_And almost believing this was not pretend_

_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

_So close_

_So close_

_And still so far_


	8. Let Go

**Chap. 7pt2- Let Go.**

**8 months Later.**

Marissa was once again sitting on a plane, but this time she was heading back to Newport for her best friend Summer has found a way to her and request her to be back ASAP. Sighing deeply, Marissa was not ready to be back.

"Marissa, you okay?" A girl next to Marissa who she met on the plane questioned.

"I'm fine," Marissa said, reassuring her with a weak smile.

"Okay, we're landing." the girl replied, smiling back at her. She wasn't ready. _Not yet_, Marissa thought.

**At the Phillips resident.**

Alex sits in the room shared with Haylee alone, wondering. _Where are you Marissa?_ Alex never forgot Mairssa, how could she? She thought of the girl everyday since the day she had left. Alex has grew to love Haylee more and more everyday but that love will never compare to the love she has for a certain someone.

Since the day Marissa left, Alex didn't know where else to go or what else to do. She needed Marissa but she knew Haylee needed her and that's what what Alex did. She stayed with Haylee. Although they were together again, they both knew that Alex didn't want this and she was there out of obligation but Haylee pushed that aside and try to lead a happy life with Alex. Haylee's parents had found out what happened and the baby and was devastated but is supportive of Haylee keeping the child. Feeling the need to do something more for Haylee and the baby, Alex propose. _She had to _and today was the engagement party and the wedding was to be held after Haylee gives birth.

"Alex honey, the everyone's here..." she heard Haylee's mother telling me.

"I'll be right there." she replied as she got up, getting herself decent, ready to face everyone. "Okay." Alex sighed. _I'm ready,_ Alex thought as she went outside, in search for Haylee.

**Summer's Place Hours Before**

"Marissa!" Summer shouted as she saw her best friend for the first time in 8 months.

"So, you going somewhere?" Marissa asked Summer who looks like she is dressed for a party.

"You're going too. Come one, quick." Summer told her and before Marissa could question her, Summer had her already dressed up.

"We're late let's go!" Summer rushed the both of them out and they were off. Moments later, they were pulling into the Phillips resident.

"Sum, why are we here." Marissa asked as she felt her heart tighten.

"I need to put a stop to this Coop. You need to put an end to this..." Summer told her as she parked and pulled Marissa with her.

"I can't go in there Sum!" Marissa shot at the small girl.

"Marissa! I see you now and I see Alex in there and trust me...you two look miserable!" Summer told her, "You're meant for each other and no matter how far you went Coop, you knew...you knew your heart was always here!" Summer continues, "You need Alex and she needs you and no matter how much you guys try to fight or deny it, you're hurting. You need to talk to Alex and settle things once and for all."

"I can't" Marissa shot back, tears running down her face. She thought she was over it. She thought she could try to forget but now everything was rushing back like the waves, crashing every wall she putted up. The two girls continue to talk as Summer tried to convince the taller girl to do something to help herself for once but neither realized the very pregnant girl who stands just feet away, witnessing the conversation. Tears trickling down her own face as she held a sad smile. It was time for her to let go.

_Know I don't wanna_

_But I gotta let you go_

_You're the one mistake I really didn't mind_

_So beautiful, unmerciful_

_It took me down_

_Too little and too late_

_You fake it easy just to please me_

_Don't you know_

_It's not like we haven't tried _

_Sleepless nights, wrong or right_

_Goodbye_

**Back Inside**

"Have you seen Haylee?" Alex asked around but no one has. She was getting a bit worried. Her girlfriend is pregnant and is do soon and she's scared something might have happened. She walked outside, still in search for Haylee until she saw her. Her heart stopped. She saw Marissa turn and their eyes connected as time stood still. Neither wanted to look away but then Marissa ran. She ran as fast as she could, away from Alex.

"Marissa!" Alex shouted as she was quickly behind the running girl. "Mairssa stop!" Alex continue shouting as she was now crying. Catching up to her, Alex was able to take a hold of her, holding her tightly in her arms.

"Let me go!" Marissa screamed loudly, struggling to break free from the embrace she has longed for.

"No! I can't..." Alex replied, not wanting to let go.

"Let me go..." Marissa said again, softer this time as she began crying, "please..." she begged, her body limping.

"I can't. Not again..." Alex replied, tears flowing her face as well as she completely forgot about Haylee and everyone else. No matter when she's with Marissa.

"You can't...we can't Alex. You're with Haylee..." Marissa choked out and reality came crashing back to Alex. Alex loosen her grip as she remember what today was for. She can't do this...not to Haylee. Marissa felt Alex's grip loosening and she knew but before the two can say anything else to each other, Haylee's mother came rushing out in tears.

"Alex!" She shouted, running up to Alex who got up, worried, "Hay...she got into an accident...she's rushed to the hospital!" Her mother choked out and before anything else was said, Alex was off to hospital not caring how many law she's breaking. She need to get to Haylee, she needed to know that she's okay.

"Hays, please be okay..." Alex constantly muttered as tears ran down her face. "Haylee Phillips...she was just rushed here..." Alex asked the nurse at the desk frantically as she reached the hospital.

"Ma'am, you need to calm down..." the lady told her.

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! My fiance is pregnant! I need to know where-" Alex shouted.

"Are you family of Haylee Phillips?" Alex turned around to a doctor who holds a peculiar expression.

"I'm her girlfriend..." Alex said more calmly. "Why? Is she okay?" Alex questioned, worried.

"She..."


	9. The End

**Chap. 8- The End.**

The sky was gloomy, filled with dark clouds that seems to be hanging over everyone's head. Cluster of people, dressed in black clutching to one another as finals words and thoughts were spoken. Some cried, some came to pay their respects and some couldn't seem to let go. It was a sad day for everyone of Newport, everyone including Alex Kelly.

_**Flashback**_

_"She suffered multiple injuries and is in critical condition." The doctor had told Alex but she was too worked up to understand._

_"What does that mean, is she okay! Is the baby okay?" Alex shouted back, finding it hard to calm herself. _

_"Due to the impact of the accident, the baby was delivered early and is now recovering. However, Ms. Phillips..." The doctor looked at Alex and she knew. She knew what he wanted to tell her. "She's still breathing, but due to her conditions, there's a small chance she'll make it through the night. I'm sorry..." he told her and Alex can feel her body going numb. No._

_"Can...can I see them?" Alex whispered as she then followed the doctor._

_Minutes later, Alex walked into the room where Haylee was placed, holding on to their baby girl. Alex fought back her tears as she saw the state that Haylee was in. Tubes were everywhere, connecting to every part of her and it broke her heart to know what could happen or that this meeting could be her last. _

_"Hey you..." Alex heard the faint of Haylee's voice._

_"Hey..." Alex replied walking over to her bedside. "I didn't know you were awake." Alex was hoping that this would be a sign that she's going to be okay._

_"Is that her?" Haylee spoke softly, referring to the baby in Alex's arms. Alex smiled and sat down, showing her her beautiful baby girl._

_"Yeah...she looks just like you." Alex cooed sweetly, "What are you going to name her?" She asked, knowing the two have talked about names but never really picked one._

_"Carolyn." Alex heard Haylee spoke, "Carolyn Kelly Phillips." Haylee finished. _

_"Kelly?" Alex asked, surprised at the middle name_

_"I want you to be a part of her life Alex, when I'm not..." Hays started._

_"Haylee, don't..." Alex stopped her._

_"No Alex, let me say this. The doctor told me everything. I know." Haylee said slowly, taking a hold of Alex's hand, "I want you to take care of her like she's yours. I know she'll grow up to be a great person. Just like you..." Haylee started to feel herself drifting but she needed to finish. _

_"Haylee, stop. You're going to be okay, you need to rest..." Alex insisted on her stopping but Haylee couldn't. She couldn't leave without saying this. Alex felt tears flowing down her face._

_"Don't cry Alex..." Haylee uttered softly, squeezing Alex's hand tighter. "Take care of my baby Alex..." She spoke again, her voice lower this time._

_"We're going to care for her Haylee, we will..." Alex is crying harder now as she can see Haylee fading away from her._

_"I love you. Always will." With a smile and Haylee was gone, her arm slipping from Alex's as both Alex and the baby cried._

_**End Flashback.**_

Remembering that day causes Alex to burst into tears every time. The ceremony for Haylee Phillips was nearing its end as people had gave their condolences and left. Alex, however, stood there never taking her eyes off the tomb stone, tears still trickling down her face.

_All I wanted to say _

_All I wanted to do _

_Is fall apart now _

_All I wanted to feel _

_I wanted to love _

_It's all my fault now _

_A Tragedy I fear _

"Alex," she heard Haylee's mother whisper, "I'll take Carolyn home..." and Alex nodded. Haylee's parent had arrived at the hospital that day a minute to late and was giving the news that their only daughter had passed away. They are cooping with the news but Alex knew, just like her, they missed their daughter immensely. However, with Carolyn, it was as though they had a part of their daughter there with them so they cherish the little child.

"Alex..." it was Marissa, "How are you?" she spoke oh so softly and caressingly with a touch of her hand on Alex's shoulders. Alex tensed. Alex hadn't spoke to Marissa since that day and she didn't know how to any more. Marissa felt Alex's reaction and retracted her hand from the girl and stepped back a bit, giving her some space.

"I found this..." Alex finally spoke, in a deep, muffle tone as she pulled out an envelope, "Its from Haylee. Before she..." Alex couldn't say it. She refuse to say it. Not yet. Turning, she was face to face to Marissa and she couldn't help but feel that sensation she always had for Marissa but now was not the time for her to go about her feelings. "Here." Alex handed her the letter to Marissa and walked pass the tall girl. Away from Marissa.

Marissa wanted to be there for Alex but she knew Alex well enough to know the girl wanted space. Her heart was broken too after hearing the news about her new friend. Marissa almost wished she happened return. Looking down at the letter, Marissa opened the it slowly, afraid of what might be written but there must a reason Alex wanted her to read it. The content of the letter made her heart ache for the girl who's no longer here with them.

_Alex,_

_I'm siting here thinking of reasons why I should just stop this letter, go outside right now and enjoy this party with you. I can name for you several but I won't. I can't. This was a mistake from the beginning Alex and we both knew it. Despite all the effort on my part to push you away, I couldn't. I used your guilt to keep you close to me. It was wrong but I needed you. Or so I thought. I'm not the one who needs you Alex. Marissa needs you and you need her. I see the way you look when you think of her and I just wish sometimes it's me you were thinking of. I don't blame you for anything anymore, I never did. Please forgive me for I'm trying to do the right thing and that's you and Marissa. Don't take this as me leaving you Alex cause I'm not. I'll never leave you. Take this as me letting you go. _

_goodbye,_

_Hays._

Marissa finished reading the letter and she can feel tears slipping pass her lower eye lids. She pulled the piece of paper away and looked over to the tomb stone that read _Haylee Jane Phillips. Loving Mother, Daughter and Friend. _

_Angel of Mercy _

_How did you find me? _

_How did you pick me up again? _

_Angel of Mercy _

_How did you move me? _

_Why am I on my feet again? _

_And I see you_

"I'm sorry..." Marissa whisper as she stood there in tears as Alex walked away behind her. They were done. It was the end.

_Or so we think. It always seems, that an end of one thing is a start of something brand new. This chapter is closing but don't be shock when a next chapter of their lives are open. New place, new people and new drama, the story never truly ends. _


End file.
